Real World advice from an Out and About Girl
Hi, my name is Kirsty Anderson and each week I want to bring you a series of hints and tips from mine and my friend’s experiences, when out and about in the real world. Each week will have a different theme. I hope to put something here for everybody, whether you are a beginner or an experienced girl.
This first week is about your own safety and using common sense when you are out. I wanted to do this one first as I feel it is so important to take care and look after yourself when out mixing with the public. You must realise you are much more vulnerable when you are out dressed as a girl than if you go out as a man.
On your first time out, you might be very nervous, or you might be the type of girl that is full of themselves and is like a kid in a candy sweet shop as soon as they get inside a big girly shop full of wonderful clothes and shoes. Both behaviours are not completely normal and so you will draw unnecessary attention to yourself.
You might be ultra-confident and very used to going out but you must not lose sight of the fact that not everybody is going to be okay with it.
Most people are usually so busy going about their own business that they most probably won’t notice you, unless you give them something to notice.
When you go out, it is always a good idea to go with a friend if you can.
If you are out in the day, you need to wear sensible daytime clothes, like jeans, a longish dress or if you have the right figure, some nice leggings and a top or opaque tights and a slightly shorter dress. Definitely no club wear or fetish wear or very short skirts!
Don’t wear particularly high heels in the day unless you have a specific reason to, they are difficult to walk in in the shopping malls because they slip on the tiled floors and also make you look unnecessarily taller.
Most girls wear flat shoes, sandals, flat or low heeled boots, basically something that is comfortable for long periods of time. You want to save your feet for your heels in the evening. Nicky can give you more advice on this – Femesque Fashion
You also need to tone down your makeup for the day, very little or no eyeliner, smaller amounts of mascara and pastel shades of eye shadows, definitely no smokey eyes for the day! Again speak to Nicky or Lynne – Femesque Make Over
The more convincing and normal you look, the more you will blend in with other people and people who do read you will take you more seriously and leave you alone. There will always be one who takes offence to you and hopefully by dressing normally, he will never notice you.
I saw one girl recently walking around a shopping centre, immaculately groomed, wearing bright red patent high heel court shoes, bright red short mini skirt. She looked quite passable but it looked out of place, she couldn’t walk in her shoes properly and I noticed her straight away. She obviously got a thrill out of people noticing her but she was taking an unnecessary risk, it would have only taken one homophobic person to spot her. . .
Even worse than this was the girl I saw going into a very busy garden centre on a Sunday afternoon, dressed up completely as an air stewardess, was rather overweight, still with her ID badge on!! It was very obvious to me and again she obviously did it for the thrill, but I just think you are putting yourself at unnecessary risk.
A very good tip that a policewoman friend gave me, (thanks Angela), was to make sure you put some male clothes in the boot of your car if you are traveling a long way, especially by yourself. I would like to add to that, make up wipes and nail polish remover. If you are unfortunate enough to get arrested for something or get an emergency call from a member of your family, you most probably won’t be able to go home and get changed first.
On the subject of driving, don’t speed and don’t do road rage. Remember you are a woman and let it go. If you annoy someone with road rage and they clock you as a tranny, they might decide to follow you and you don’t need that, especially if it is a car full of young lads.
It is not a good idea to wear very high heels when driving; you will not be able to control the car properly and could very easily have an accident. I know one girl whose heel of her boot went through the mat on the floor and she couldn’t get it out and was fast coming up to a junction, couldn’t apply the brakes and nearly crashed.
If your mobile phone rings, remember you are in your female persona, don’t shout out loud down the phone, talk quietly or ring them back at a more convenient time.
I was in a restaurant in London once and one girl I was with got a bit excited about being out shopping in Oxford St all day and and started talking in a loud male voice. There were two couples sitting at the table behind her and immediately both the guys and one of the girls turned round, out of shock, to work out where the male voice had come from.
When they came in and sat down after us, they had only seen three women at the table in front of them. I thought there was going to be trouble as the two guys looked like meat-heads if you know what I mean. Luckily, I think because it was London, most probably had seen it all before, they turned round and nothing came of it.
When you need to use the toilet you should always try and use a disabled toilet wherever you go. There does not appear to be any law against the opposite sex using the wrong toilets, but as most people think it is against the law, you are causing yourself unnecessary danger if you force this issue. A lot of women are uncomfortable about it and may well complain.
If you really must go and there is no disabled toilet, wait until it is quieter, go straight into the cubical, wash your hands and come out. Don’t hang around doing your makeup or brushing your hair. If you need to do this, do it in the cubicle using a makeup mirror.
The only exception to the above is where the management of the place clearly say that it is okay. This is often the case in pubs and clubs that are LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender) or LGBT tolerant, but you must always check first, you don’t want to be thrown out and have your evening spoiled.
Some disabled toilets need a special key to open them. You can buy one of these keys online from – http://www.radar-shop.org.uk/ In Europe, most toilets are unisex anyway, they don’t see it as a big deal, but we are a funny lot in this country.
One thing that men do all the time that real girls have learned not to do is look directly at strangers. When you are dressed en-femme you must get used to not just staring at everybody, especially men, as this gives the wrong impression you are interested and they may not realise you are transgendered and you end up with attention you were not expecting.
You might be the sort of girl that wants male attention, but don’t do it in the street, only at a LGBT friendly club or bar where the men like that sort of thing. The man in the street is not likely to be that way inclined and you are potentially putting yourself in a dangerous position. The one exception to this is female members of staff in shops, restaurants, bars etc. A nice smile shows you are friendly and not confrontational and will go a long way to them being even more helpful towards you.
You need to be particularly careful at night, as you will really look like a girl, especially if you are going clubbing and wearing a short skirt and high heels. It’s surprising how vulnerable you feel walking across a dark car park to your car late at night, now I know exactly what it feels like for real girls. Some girls I know do carry rape alarms in their handbags. I’m not saying you will need it but it’s better to be safe than sorry, even if it just frightens off some drunken idiot.
Now that the clocks have gone forward an hour, some people say the ‘tranny season’ is over and won’t come out in the light evenings. All I have to say to that is get yourself a professional makeover lesson, some fashion advice, have your wig checked over or sorted out, marvel at how much better you look with some professional help, and get out and enjoy yourself.
You can’t spend over half the year indoors just because it isn’t dark enough for you. All you need is here – Femesque Services
If you really want to go out but just don’t have the courage for your first time, arrange to go out with a friend who is used to it and more confident.
If you want to go shopping en-femme, talk to Nikki and make an appointment to go out shopping with her. She is an absolute fashion guru and knows what suits us ‘Girls’ best and what doesn’t. She is also quite tall which will help you blend in more when you go out to the shops etc. You can find out more about shopping with Nicky here – Fashion Works
When you go out, try and remember some of the things above, keep your wits about you, use your common sense and don’t do anything to put yourself in unnecessary danger.
Above all, go out and have fun!!!
Kirsty Anderson
xx
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